This morning Mr.Whittlestone discovered a Sumatran Rhinoceros seated at his kitchen table, reading the Times and sipping Earl Grey. After recovering from his initial shock, Mr.Whittlestone is reported to have asked the rather hairy rhinoceros why it was in his kitchen and making itself at home, to which the rhinoceros responded, “It’s a jungle out there.”
Mr.Whittlestone, a teacher of geography at the local junior high school, then replied, “But rhinos of your species don’t live in jungles, they live in forests!” He claims the rhinoceros seemed to take offense, and it retorted, “If you’re going to quibble over details, I’ll break my fast elsewhere. Good day, sir!” The rhinoceros then tucked the Times under its prehensile lip and let itself out.
At the time of this writing, it is not known whether Mr.Whittlestone will press charges of trespass or vandalism, or seek reparations for the rather large rhinoceros-shaped opening where his garden door once stood.
The rhinoceros was not available for comment.